my sense of belonging..

I woke up with a smile today...

Not because I dreamt of good food...

Not because I dreamt of cute girls...

But I dreamt of both good food and cute girls..

In my alma mater, the St John's Institution...

(Q: Ya right... SJI is a guy school and where are the cute girls?...

A: Form sixers!!)

Yesterday WAS suppose to be my last day at SJI if I cont my STPM...

Too bad the movies + manga + anime marathon I had made me forget about it thou..XD

But this morning, I dreamt of it...

It started with me alone, having my lunch in some canteen...

All alone...

Then, there's a strong feeling, urging me to walk towards a hall nearby...

I followed this feeling, and found myself standing in front of a hall,

similar to SJI hall where the drama team used to practice a lot,

and where we held a few gathering for the Chinese society..

But its not as long thou...

As I walked in..

MAN!..

I saw blur faces in white shirt, olive green pants guys...

I saw more blur faces in white shirt sky blue skirts...

And I saw the shiny green tie on them!!

The loneliness that strikes me disappeared instantly...

The blur faces turned to the familiar faces one-by-one...

All with a smile on them...

A warmth, full smile...

And they call out, 'Suang Fu!'

I can felt tears rolling...

But why?...

Too bad I'm a guy and I hold it...

And I replied each and everyone of them...

Then came my president, Shuh Huey...

With the same soft, warm voice of hers, she said

'Hi Suang Fu! you made it just on time for the Chinese Society farewell party!'

So I'd made it just on time for this annually event huh?..

I smile...

Sitting down in front of the stage, Shuh Huey introduce me all the juniors around...

Well, its a dream, so some weird names popped in...

And then I heard the irritating noise from a construction site..

Time to wake up?..

I'm so reluctant to wake up...

I'm resisting it strongly...

But the dream fades and I'm back on my bed...

Smiling...

The half-a-year time in SJI for my lower six...

Its the best time in my life...

The first day I step into SJI...

I felt that my heart telling me, 'This is the school'...

Soon after I transfered to SJI...

I love my school each and everyday...

I don't know...

but there is a magic in this school...

That kept the Johanian Spirit sky high!

I'm a Johanian...

For now, and forever...

This is the sense of belonging I had for SJI...

But I did not really feel my sense of belonging as strong as this towards AJ today...

Whats wrong?..

you tell me...

(perhaps AJ has no magic? XD)

The Johanian Spirit, lives on and on. In our hearts, in our soul...

nah..

Hey I learnt Something new!

I learnt the kia-su-ness from a singaporean kid...

Who cannot take care of his own attitude but want to help to correct people's attitude...

LMAO!

Please la...

Know yourself can?...

Spent my whole PW-off day dealing with something stupid...

Well I think I really need urgent GP tuition to improve my english...

Its not easy to get your thoughts through words...

Through mouth, I'm sure the trainings from my parents are the best..=)=)

Ok whatever...

I tell myself that he is still a kid after all...

no point arguing...

and no use shooting him while he is still hot-headed over his girlfriend...

I admit I'm impatient...

I admit I'm quite a perfectionist...

I admit I demand quality job...

I admit I don't give a damn on others feeling...

Ohh ya...

I don't give a damn how you work...

I don't give a damn on the process...

I only want the end results...

And I want it presentable!!

Too bad...

Elects camp thought me these shits that I don't agree with...

'Its the process that matters, bla bla bla bla bla....'

What I care is the products, not the process!!

Cos I face it myself...

Under scholarship...

No matter how hard you work...

No matter how much efforts you put in...

In the end only the results matter...

You got not enough rank point, buh bye...

Come on, face reality...

People judge you by the products not the process...

No idiots will want to know how hard you work...

They just want something they like...

Its easy...

Too bad, I cannot put myself to agree with your comments...

Because I'd faced harsh reality...

Because reality taught me that products is always more important than the process...

Because you still think both good products and good process can achieve simultaneously!

Because you are NAIVE!

Obviously you do not accept my comments...

Obviously you did not get the points of my comments...

Obviously you yourself do not want to face your own weakness...

or you are just trying to cover up your weakness with lies?...

I don't know...

and I don't give a damn...

Too bad...

Good luck with your girl...

-end-

I'VE GOT ATTITUDE PROBLEM,

SO?

tag..

long long long long long long long long time never reply tag liao...*haih*

here it goes..

sorry cos no one to tag d...*sigh*

(1) 请老实的回答每一个问题。
(2) 不行擅自塗改題目。
(3) 写完请点10位小朋友，不可不点。
(4) 点完后请通知那10位小朋友他被点到了。

1. znwdajs
2. ho kit
3. znwdajs
4. ho kit
5. znwdajs
6. ho kit
7. znwdajs
8. ho kit
9. znwdajs
10. ho kit

01-[ 4号认识6号吗? ]:: same person..XD
02-[ 10号是男还是女? ]:: 男！！
03-[ 8号的兴趣是? ]:: do maths...!@#$!
04-[ 1号有没有兄弟姐妹? ]:: got 1 cute sister..XD
05-[ 7号姓氏? ]:: Blow(chui)
06-[ 10号人缘好吗? ]:: not bad!
07-[ 4号有人追吗? ]:: YES!! XDXDXD
08-[ 承上2号呢? ]:: huh?
09-[ 6号喜欢的颜色是? ]:: ei ho kit, wad colour u like?
10-[ 3号和10号是朋友吗? ]:: duh~
11-[ 8号的生日是? ]:: soon... 17th nov..
12-[ 5号读哪呢? ]:: AJC
13-[ 你怎么认识10号的? ]:: Roomates in Parry HELL!
14-[ 你跟1号的生日差几个月? ]:: hmm.. ho kit you do the maths thx...
15-[ 你和9号有出去玩过吗? ]:: duh~
16-[ 你喜欢和2号聊天吗? ]:: Duh!
17-[ 你喜欢和3号在一起吗? ]:: ??? means what??? together as in pak toh?... eww...
18-[ 你觉得7号人怎么样? ]:: great!
19-[ 你觉得9号人怎么样? ]:: refer to the question above..
20-[ 你爱2号吗? ]:: Yvette will kill me if I say yes...XDXDXD

1. 是谁传給你这份问卷的:: Fiona
2. 你们认识多久呢:: too long until lost count d...XDXDXD
3. 你觉得他(她)对你來说很重要吗:: of cos!
4. 你与他(她)的关系是:: Childhood(?) fren!!
5. 你觉得他(她)的个性如何:: 豪爽，有见识!!
6. 请问他(她)的兴趣是:: take photos!!

問 : 當你在更衣室沖水 门忽然被打开了你会
答 : say: 'Please do not be demoralized of what you see.'

問 : 海中忽然大浪來襲后 你发现比基尼小姐上身泳裝被沖掉了你会
答 : find coconuts, cut into half, give her.

問 : 去海边玩会使用咩交通工具
答 : rocket.

問 : 你突然发现沒帶泳裝 泳衣你会買吗
答 : I'll buy a set of bikini! but not going to wear it.

問 : 回去时 发现有其他遊客手机沒拿 你会觉得是哪牌子的
答 : china brand.

問 : 海边对你來说是
答 : sun burn!

問 : 看到镜子 会不由自主的向前吗
答 : no. If I go forward, it'll crack.

問 : 经常用洗面乳吗
答 : its a necessity can?

問 : 说到自恋会想到谁
答 : valerie

問 : 有人说该減肥了你会
答 : can you be more creative?..

7 sins: SLOTH

Sloth: the bad habit of being lazy and unwilling to work (Oxford Advanced Learners' Dictionary)

This is the reason why I'm not updating my blog..

PW will be the second..

Gimme a break!

Now that promo is just over, we still have to go back to school everyday.

Staring at the screen, refining our Written Report....

Refining and refining and refining and refining...

theres no end of it!

and with groupmates constantly missing in action...

our motivation too missing in action...

Life wise...

sloth is the best word the describe me now..

Everyday I would just lie on my bed, using my lappie...

Well you don't have homeworks after promos..

But you have got tonnes of WR, proposals and mails to write...

And I tend to stick onto mangas and animes whole day to pay off the manga debts during te promo period...

Sloth prevents me from getting out of the hostel...

It takes me 10 minutes and wet my shirt with sweat just to walk from hostel to mrt station...

I just hate it cos I don't wanna stink even a little!!

Deodorant will make it worse...

Sloth prevents me from cleaning up my mess after promo...

The econs file is still on my table and notes are still on the floors...

Everytime I sees it, I get irritated..

and yet I'm still lazy to do it...==

whatever...

I'm craving for chips now!!!

I need chips!!

ohh, this had became gluttony, another sins...XP

but its fantastic to eat chips and watch movies with a can of soft drinks...^^

I don't care bout exercise alr...

Sloth again...

I'm just a lazy bunch of meat...

Its good if I can just sit and sleep and eat everyday...

going to sloth...

buh bye..

revived!!!

I'm screwed up, but there are still people who are willing to comprehend me...

I'm seriously touched by my BFF, Best Friends Forever - KUM YUN ZHEN...

Thank you...

and thanks to all my friends who try to cheer me up!..^^

I'm back to myself again...

I was demoralized by the maths questions yesterday...

I wanted to compete against time and practice so that I can really do well in promo...

I went all out trying to use the least time possible to solve the questions...

But then, I was stuck at the second page of my revision exercise worksheet...

I cannot solve a simple vectors question - to find the foot of perpendicular...

I flipped through all my notes...

I check out all my precious exercises...

I think very hard...

but everything MAKES NO SENSE!!

My enthusiasm was wiped out instantly...

I couldn't believe that I forget and mixed up all the concepts in such a crucial time...

and I cannot forgive myself for that!!

I refuse to seek help as I was taught about this question not long ago...

but still... nothing came close...

I finally gave up after hours staring at it, flipping through notes and stuffs...

So I can't work under stress huh?...

This proves it...

How could I not be emo after that?...

Decided to get away from the table after that...

With a hope that my mind will be cleared after a while...

But when I get back to it, its still the same...

Totally fed up!!

I think to myself, 'ok, maybe its not time for maths, lets do my WR or I&R or read some essays online.'

But the sudden loneliness attacked...

And I started to think critically...

Totally out of mood...

And so the emo post came out...

A good friend showed concern almost instantly...

I had to admit that I was resisting at first...

But she really did her best to cheer me up...

and she succeed!!

I felt extremely light after that...

Things do get better when I talk it out...

and thanks to my BFF who lend me her windows to chat myself out...

together with her best effort to cheer me up!!

1 reason I do not regret coming, is to have a friend like you!!

Guess my parents are too busy now that my aunt always pay em a visit during raya holidays...

but anyway, I manage to come out from this emo-ness thanks to my BFF, and DotA which do a little help for me to run away from reality to clear up my mind...

Today..

It took me less than 10 minutes to complete the whole question and re-understanding the concepts of vectors!!

All by myself!!

Things are easy when your mind is clear..^^

Well the credit goes to my BFF again with her 5 pages long message this morning..^^

It was sent last night but I did not realize it... sorry...

I owe you one, Kum Yun Zhen...

and thanks!! <3<3<3

p/s: an addition to the previous post:

-I'm a screwed up guy who always forget what he said...

but he will never forget a friend like his BFF!!!

I'm a screwed up guy

I'm a screwed up guy...

I'm always contradicting myself...

Thus I could not make a decision that I myself is satisfied with...

And always regret for what I had done...

My mind is always messed up.

Hence most of the time I don't even know what I'm talking about...

And I always see blur faces when I'm explaining something...

I've got short attention spend...

You want me to sit down quietly for 5 minutes? I'm sorry...

You think that I'm so concentrating on the books I'm reading?..

Sorry, cause I can even repeat what you said a while ago...

I hate my body figure...

But I did nothing to it...

I'm lazy and I'm well aware of it!!

But yet, no action taken..

I'm always trusting...

But at the same time I'm doubting...

I always think that I've master everything...

But I mastered, NOTHING...

I know all the theories...

But I do not know how to apply it...

Nor do I know how to explain it to you!..

I love girls with long hair...

Yet I find girls with short hair adorable...

I'm a guy, who knows his weaknesses...

And yet could not overcome it...

I'm a screwed up guy...

That attracts NO ONE...

I SUCKS!

another undeserved defeat

A defeat that they do not deserve...

I accept the fact that Arsenal lost 2-4 to Manchester City...

But what Arsenal won was their battle spirit, and their pride!!

If Adebayor was still in Arsenal, he definitely will lose his cool...

But I'm proud that the young gunners kept their cool, even after the provocations by this mess-of-the-match, Adebayor..

the Gunners fought a brave battle..

Never give up even when the match is 10 minutes left, and they were losing 4-1...

The results does not matter...

The defeat will be revenged, in a proper manner...

but the pride that was lost, will never be replenished, just like the traitor -- Adebayor...

I still love Arsenal...